The hap-happiest season of all…or not?
Coined the “most wonderful time of the year”, it may be initially surprising to hear that the holidays are also reported to be the most stressful time of the year (although this song would probably not do as well).
The holidays are magical. The lights are twinkling, the air is crisp and refreshing, the children are antsy with excitement…and it is stressing us out! Along with all of the magic of season, comes a lot of demands, challenges, difficult emotions and stressors that can take a real toll on us-physiologically speaking.
Anytime we experience elevated stress levels, our ability to engage with others and be fully present in the moment diminishes. Not to mention, elevated stress levels increase the likelihood of injury, flare up of pain, poor sleep, irritability, decreased cognitive performance and more. In other words, these elevated stress levels totally dampen your experience of the holiday magic, according to literature. A recent study by the American Psychiatric Association found the following to be the most common sources of stress for people around the holiday season.
Being able to afford holiday gifts
Being able to locate and obtain gifts in time for the holiday
Remembering and missing loved ones who are no longer with us
Managing demands at work during the holiday season
Maintaining health during the holidays
Fully enjoying the holiday season is the best gift you can give yourself and being fully present with your loved ones is the best gift you can give others. To do so, you need to be effectively modulating your stress response to handle the unavoidable external demands that come with the holidays.
We’ve all seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, right? If the answer is no…stop reading and immediately go watch this Christmas classic (you can thank me later). Clark Griswald struggled with many of the above identified holiday stressors. All Clark wanted was to give his family the most spectacular holiday season imaginable, but everything just seemed to go wrong as it sometimes does. When he FINALLY gets his holiday bonus, he eagerly opens it up as he has already announced to his family that he has allocated his bonus to putting in a pool in their backyard. Much to his surprise, he opens his bonus to find a check for the ‘Jelly of the Month’ club.
The man completely loses his you-know-what. He snaps, sending his body into turmoil and completely ruining the Christmas vibe for everyone. Below are 3 pieces of advice I’d give Clark to better modulate his stress response, allowing him to better enjoy the time with his family, maintain physiological health and thoughtfully navigate the difficult emotions felt upon opening his bonus.
Be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. It is okay to not be 100% cheerful just because it’s the holiday season and it’s okay to be a little extra disappointed when things don’t go according to plan. Recent studies have found that that body becomes more distressed trying to NOT feel how you’re feeling. Have you ever asked someone if they are okay, only to be met with an aggressive “I’M FINE!”? chances are they are not fine and that snapped reaction is a good indicator of this. Instead, a response similar to “You know what, I’m actually really overwhelmed right now” will decrease the physiological toll stress has on the body.
Do a body scan 3 times a day. Bring your attention to the top of your head, and see if you notice any tension. When we are running from one thing to the next and under extra stress, our muscles naturally tense up. Our jaw may clench, our eyebrows furrow, our shoulders rise. Overtime, this can lead to musculoskeletal imbalances, inflexibility, pain and increased risk of injury…and contribute to continued physiological stress. Tune into to your body, head to toes, and gently release any tension you may be feeling. Had Clark practiced body scans throughout the holiday season, he would have been better able to navigate his disappointment with the check for jelly.
Practice breathing at your coherent breathing rate for 10-15 minutes. This is the breathing rate that optimizes your heart rate variability and balances out your nervous system-decreasing the physiological stress response. Everyone’s coherent breathing rate is slightly different and it is recommended to consult with a biofeedback therapist to determine your coherent breathing rate, however, you can use 6 breaths per minute as a general guideline. This will further balance out your nervous system and reduce the damage to your body during distressing moments.
None of this is to say Clark shouldn’t have felt disappointment and distress, but it is important he learns to manage his stress in a way that does not negatively impact his health.
